Bad Habits Bite Back
by sharkmortal
Summary: When Luffy accidentally knocks Sanji's cigarettes into the ocean Sanji goes into a fit of rage. Luffy doesn't realise what a big mistake he's made and when Sanji goes to tell him how bad it would be he slips up, mentioning something he shouldn't have. Zoro happens to be the only one who noticed and, when things go wrong, Sanji's secrets are revealed. Rated M for future chapters
1. The Shit Cook's Secret

Sanji was dancing around the kitchen, excited to make a sweet dessert for his precious Nami-san and Robin-chan and, with only that on his mind, he had time for nothing else. His mind was set on making lemon meringue pie and a melon smoothie to go with. It was a hot summer's day and Nami and Robin had both said they wanted something to eat and a drink to cool them down.

Carefully he prepared the dish and drinks and kicked open the galley door, spinning around.

"NAMI-SWAAAAAAN! ROBIN-CHWAAAAAAAAN! YOUR SNACKS ARE READY!" he shouted as he placed them down in front of Nami and Robin, their eyes lighting up at the sight of the gorgeous looking food and drinks.

"Thank you, Sanji-kun!" "Thank you." Both Nami and Robin responded, smiles on their faces.

Hearts appeared in the cook's eyes as he turned into a noodle man for the first time of the day. Zoro, who was asleep on the deck, took note of the noise and opened his eyes and was getting ready to tell the cook to shut up when he stopped to get out a cigarette. Unfortunately for him it was poor timing and Luffy, Usopp and Chopper happened to run past him, knocking his box of cigarettes into the water.

"FUCK! THAT WAS MY LAST PACK, YOU RUBBER SHIT!" Sanji screamed giving Luffy the hairdryer treatment. When Sanji was done everyone's heads were turned his way and Luffy's hair had just been slicked back, his straw hat hanging from his neck due to Sanji's shouting. Luffy looked really worried and Sanji was red in the face from anger, furious at losing his last pack of cigarettes because his stupid captain couldn't control himself and had to run past him like a maniac.

"I'm sorry, Sanji. We were just having fun!" Luffy whined, obviously sorry but not wanting to be told off, and pouted at Sanji hoping for a bit of sympathy and maybe Sanji calming down.

"No, you don't understand. That was my last packet and it won't end well, he-!" Sanji clasped a hand over his mouth, worried about his slip up in case someone heard him and took in the thought that something was wrong. He looked around to see that no one seemed to have picked up on it but one person had.

Roronoa Zoro.

"No, you don't understand. That was my last packet and it won't end well, he-!" Zoro raised an eyebrow. He? Who was he? Did they need to worry about whoever this person was if Sanji said it wouldn't end well? He could tell the shitty cook wasn't lying but something about how worried he'd seemed about his little mistake didn't sit well with Zoro. He decided he'd confront Sanji about it.

"Huh?" Luffy said, turning his head to the side with a confused look on his face at Sanji's shouting. He was obviously expecting everything to go as it normally would.

"S-sorry Sanji! We were just messing about. C'mon Luffy, let's let Sanji start lunch and you can have food then OK?" Luffy nodded at Usopp who looked at Sanji with an apologetic look as he dragged Luffy away, Chopper following them and not saying a word in case he angered Sanji even more. He loved Sanji like a brother but he was scary when he got like this.

Taking a drag of air with a huge sigh Sanji walked back into the galley, closing the door with a loud _thud_. All Zoro could think of was what Sanji had said earlier and, deciding the follow up on the idea of asking him about it, he stood up and made his way over to the galley and pushed open the door. He knew Sanji noticed his presence, even before he'd walked into the galley.

"Oi, ero cook. What was that all about?" Zoro noticed Sanji visibly tensed up and he could see that his eyes had obviously widened at the question. It made Zoro even more curious and he really wanted to find out what the stupid cook was talking about.

"W-what the hell are you talking about, shitty marimo? Now get out of my kitchen while I make dinner." Sanji was obviously trying to avoid everything that came his way but Zoro was having none of that.

"I'll ask again. What the fuck were you talking about when you said 'he', you bastard?" Once again Sanji tensed but was obviously trying to relax as Zoro could hear his breaths becoming longer and slower as he tried to make sure Zoro didn't notice anything.

"I told you, marimo. There's nothing wrong with me and there's no 'he' you mentioned, now get out my kitchen." At this Zoro sighed. He wasn't going to get anything out of the cook right now but he would certainly try and make him slip up. Maybe mentioning his cigarettes would work and he'd slip up and mention this person he was talking about. Maybe even getting him drunk enough to spill his secrets would work? He'd have to try it out.

It was nighttime and Brook was on watch that evening. He knew that Sanji was still awake as the galley light was still on and the smell of coffee was flowing from that side of the ship.

Ah! But he didn't have a nose! How could he smell it? Yohohohoho!

Anyway, after about two hours after everyone had gone to bed besides him and Sanji he heard a loud thump from down there (ah, but he didn't have ears - yohohoho) and felt a bit scared.

"Sanji-san? Are you OK down there?" Brook whisper-shouted down to the galley where Sanji was after opening the trapdoor below him but he did not get the response he wanted. He just heard some curses and more loud banging. Though he was scared Brook decided it would be best if he went and checked it out for Sanji's safety. They were nakama after all.

After climbing down the ladder to the crow's nest he slowly tiptoed to the galley, his sword at the ready to be drawn in case of an attack.

"Sanji-san, are you OK in there?" Being cautious, he opened the door to find Sanji hunched over, holding his head and his body visibly shaking and sweating.

"Sanji-san...?" At this a rather raspy version of Sanji's voice could be heard. It was as if it had been distorted slightly too.

"Oh, were you looking for him? He's not here right now. Try again later…"

"Sanji-san, this isn't funny…" Brook muttered, scared for his life (ah, but he's already dead - yohohoho). Backing away slightly, the not-so-much-Sanji Sanji responded to him.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt 'ya!" He turned around and Brook was greeted with a Sanji whose eyes were glowing white, a smile plastered onto his face and black shadows cascading down his face so that you couldn't really see his curly eyebrow at all.

"Ya took his cigs away and 'ya stuck with me!" This not-so-much-Sanji Sanji had a weird accent too. Where the hell had that come from?

Not wanting to stay and ponder anything any longer Brook scrambled out of the door and called for everyone else to get themselves out of bed to see what the _hell_ was wrong with Sanji.

Zoro heard a loud shout from outside the room coming from what appeared to be Brook. He could hear the distress in his voice and shot up immediately. Where they being attacked by Marines this late in the evening? It was like, midnight, dammit!

Rushing out of the door to his room after grabbing his katanas, he noticed he was the first one on the deck of the Sunny Go.

"What's wrong, Brook? Are we being attacked?" Zoro shouted, ready to fight.

"N-no, there's something wrong with Sanji-san!" Brook shouted. Zoro was completely done with that shitty cook today and he wasn't about to take a load of bullshit from him. He decided to storm in there was whack him over the head with the blunt side of Shusui to knock him out of it.

"Alright ero cook, I've had enough of your-!" Suddenly Zoro felt arms around him and a laugh that sort of seemed like Sanji but was kind of distorted and raspy.

"Oooh, he likes you, doesn't he? I share his emotions, 'ya see! He likes this one. Fufufu!" The person now gripping onto Zoro had said, a smile evident in his voice. Zoro looked up to see that Sanji was gripping onto him.

"Get the fuck off'a me, shitty ero cook!" Zoro shouted as he swung his arm out to hit the annoying bastard attached to him. As he tried to though he swung himself over Zoro's head to stand the opposite side of where he was previously.

"Sorry, but that 'shitty ero cook' 'o yours isn't here right now! 'Ya stuck with me 'til 'ya can find an island with cigarettes to buy! An' I'm pretty sure the next island will be uninhabited so 'ya stuck with me for a while. Fufufu!" Zoro's eyes widened at this person that looked like Sanji but also didn't look like Sanji and didn't speak like him either.

"Oi! What's going on in here!?" Came a voice from the door, obviously Nami at the higher tone. The Sanji that wasn't actually Sanji turned his head to the door, his smirk obviously growing wider.

"Oh! You must be 'is precious ladies! Sorry, he doesn't actually love ladies like that! I should know. We share emotions! Fufufu!" Everyone's eyes widened, even those who had just arrived. Sanji didn't actually like women like that? Did that mean he was gay? He liked men? Zoro was confused. He had thought that Sanji was literally only attracted to women but now he found out he wasn't attracted to them at all?

"Oh, a little somethin' fer you, Zoro-san!" He leaned in towards Zoro's ear and whispered, breathing on Zoro's ear ever so slightly.

" _He's an extreme masochist, just like me…_ "


	2. Woof!

Zoro reflected on everything that he'd heard from this alternate Sanji whilst he took a nap on the deck of the Sunny Go. The cook was into guys and was a masochist? The latter was more believable than the first but it was pretty unbelievable anyway. Sanji was obviously a ladies man and no one on the crew (besides their dipshit captain) had the intention to believe it was true. Thinking about it now the conversation following everything was stupid as fuck too.

* * *

" _He's an extreme masochist, just like me…_ " Zoro's eyes widened at that thought. The cook was a fucking masochist? On top of that was the fact he'd been told Sanji liked guys and that horrified him to no end.

"Why the fuck are you telling me that? I don't need to know, bastard!" Zoro didn't want to personally know. There was nothing special about him and it was extremely obvious that Sanji hated his guts.

"Zoroooo! What did he tell you? I wanna know too!" Luffy whined being the nosey little shit he was, as per usual. With a blush and a sigh, Zoro pulled a hand through his hair and turned to Luffy.

"Nothing that concerns you, Luffy." The alternate Sanji grinned as he knew that Zoro was not going to spill what had been said so, with a grin, he decided that he should be an actual asshole and tell the kid in Zoro's place. With a creepy grin he turned to everyone behind him and in front of Zoro.

"Oh, I just told him that Sanji is-!" As Zoro's eyes widened he smacked his hand over alternate Sanji's mouth and hit him over the head. He could feel that, under his hand, the alternate Sanji was smirking and his mouth was slowly opening.

"Zoro, what was he going to say?" Nami demanded but Zoro just shook his head and glared at everyone in front of him. They looked as though they were about to bombard him with questions but his eyes widened once again when he realised that the little shit under him was _licking_ his hand. Quickly Zoro jumped backwards, letting go of the asshole and wiping his hand on his shirt.

"Did you just fucking _lick_ me!?" He screamed, both anger and shock filling his words. The man in front of him snickered and grinned broadly whilst Zoro just glared back, disgusted by him. This was definitely not Sanji because not even Sanji would stoop this low or even let Zoro graze his arm, never mind lick him of his own self accord.

"Yes. And 'ya taste nice, too. He'd probably love ta' taste you as well. He's been with many people and they all resemble 'ya in some way or another. Minus the green hair, o'course. They're all muscly with scars and stuff." A grin had somehow wiggled its way onto Luffy's face. The captain of the Straw Hats was a very accepting person and, even though this wasn't Sanji, it was an alternate personality in the cook's body and as long as no harm came to the rest of the crew Luffy was willing to accept this person(ality) into the group.

"Shishishi! Sanji likes Zoro? Well, whatever. As long as you don't harm the crew!" And with that Luffy walked off dragging Usopp and Chopper with him to play a game of 'it'* leaving behind a shocked and angered Zoro, a crying Franky (at how Sanji's alternate was being so open and how it was emotional and also how it was so SUPER), a smirking Robin, a grinning Nami and a laughing Brook.

"I don't believe this for a second but it's still funny!" Nami shouted as she pointed at Zoro's red face, clutching her stomach with laughter. Brook was also laughing and it was a lot harder than when he had laughed at Duval's resemblance to Sanji. He was falling to the floor, rolling about as he screamed with laughter, tears falling from his eyes (but he doesn't have eyes, so how he can see? Yohohohoho!) whilst he was trying to mutter how sorry he was to Zoro.

"Fuck this, I'm taking a nap…" Zoro muttered as he walked away, a huge headache slowly forming.

* * *

And that's what led up to now; Zoro leaning on the side of the staircase on the deck of the Sunny, pissed off at the events that had happened prior and he had literally just revised in his mind. What the fuck was that shitty cook thinking, hiding something this big from them? No, he did not mean the fact that he was gay or masochistic but the fact he had some asshole of an alternate personality when he did not have enough of his fucking cancer sticks that he was most likely going to die from instead of fighting with this crew.

"Boo!" Zoro's eyes widened and he leant back, whacking his head on the wood behind him. Rubbing the back of his head, he looked up slowly and saw that the shitty bastard was hanging from the railing above them. Growling, Zoro looked at him.

"Ooh, growling. Kinky! Woof!" The bastard said, moving his arms as if he were a dog about to swipe someone or something with his claws. Zoro, now even more pissed off than he was previously, abruptly stood up and smacked the alternate Sanji over the head and snickered as he watched him fall from the railing. The alternate Sanji pouted, sitting like a dog and whined at him.

"That was mean, Master! Woof!" Zoro, once again feeling disgusted, turned from him and clicked his tongue. He could hear the bastard behind him making noises as if he were a dog waiting for its master to come and give it affection or food or some shit. It made Zoro feel sick. Sort of.

"Go and piss off someone else, you waste of oxygen!" And without waiting for a reply from him, Zoro stalked off and started climbing up to the crows nest. Halfway up he heard Usopp screaming and realised he must've gone off to scare him instead.

* * *

A/N:

Thank you for reading my story and all the positive feedback I got from the first chapter but I really need help with naming actual asshole alternate Sanji Vinsmoke. If you have any ideas then please comment! I'd love to hear what you think he should be called!


	3. Kanji, Danji or Prince Asshole?

Sanji was having the date of his lifetime. They were perfect for him and he knew that he loved them to the moon and back. He was so glad he'd met them whilst he was out buying fruit in the town of the island they were on. They'd spent the rest of the day together after Sanji had ordered the fruit to be sent to the Sunny Go. They'd gone to the fun fair and gotten ice cream and gone on many rides together. Sanji was having the time of his life and he knew that this person was supposed to be with him forever and he would not deny himself of that. They were all up for travelling with him on the Sunny Go with the rest of the crew and he knew that they'd live a fantastic life together.

But sooner or later Sanji would have to wake from this dream. He had an inkling of a feeling that it wasn't real and that feeling was correct; his alternate personality had taken over his body and was pissing the crew off and revealing secrets that he'd managed to keep hidden from the crew.

Sanji had always been a bit distant compared to the others including Robin who was almost a complete mystery. He'd never really shared his past or how he felt about anyone in the crew (except for the two ladies whom he seemed to adore more than anyone in the world but that truly wasn't the case) or why he acted like he did around ladies, nosebleeds and all. Sanji was a real case to crack and he never wanted to tell anyone anything about himself, less they leave him on an island alone and sail away without him. He knew Luffy would never abandon him as long as he did nothing to harm the crew but he was always paranoid about it and the reason for that was that his alternate personality was a serial killer. Sanji and whatever that other personality is or was, shared emotions and almost the same train of thoughts, expressing interest in cooking and other shit of the sort. The only thing they didn't completely agree on liking was smoking and that was because the little shit passed out from the nicotine and let Sanji back into his own body. It was weird and the smoking became habit (which gets him in trouble with Chopper constantly) but it kept Sanji in control of himself. The alternate personality came about when he was starving to death on that island with Zeff and when they'd finally figured out how to get Sanji back to himself several people had been killed because of this personality. He claimed to be a serial killer but would not kill anyone Sanji cared about because that would make Sanji sad and because they shared emotions, he would be sad. He didn't like the idea of that.

* * *

Back on the Sunny Go and out of Sanji's mind the crew were trying to think of a name for Alternate Sanji. It was a difficult choice considering he was far too like Sanji and far too different compared to Sanji that there wasn't really a correct choice that had popped up so far.

"There's no good name to give him!" Nami complained, lost in thought. They'd thought of other actual names but none of them seemed to suit the poor alternate personality but Usopp had just thought of a 'genius' idea.

"Oh! What about changing the first letter of his name like 'Kanji' or 'Danji'? That would be good, right!?" Usopp said, feeling victorious with the approving looks on everyone's faces. Nami smiled, Chopper's eyes lit up, Franky was shouting about how it was a SUPER idea, Robin just chuckled at everyone and alternate Sanji had his almost signature grin on his face.

"Yeah, that could work!" Nami said with an approving tone in her voice when suddenly Zoro appeared with a bottle of sake in his hand.

"How about Prince Asshole?" a snicker could be heard from several of the group but Zoro simply received a kick to the head and a large grin in his face.

"Now now, Marimo-kun… There's no need to be so mean to me; we all know you love me really!" and with that a kiss was placed on his cheek with a couple of pats afterwards. Zoro, now flustered, started stuttering.

"W-what are you d-doing, Shit Cook!?" Zoro shot up pushing the other man off of him whilst the crew sniggered at him. Suddenly alternate Sanji got the most fantastic idea and decided now, in front of the entire crew, was the perfect time to execute it.

"But Master! I'm just your innocent little pet. How can you be so cruel?" he pouted and did his dog impression once again. Zoro's face flushed red in anger and he whacked him over the head, letting out a snarl as he could see the rest of the crew laughing their arses off at the pair.

"Just name the bastard and be done with it." they decided to go with Kanji as it's something they'd all remember considering it was the adopted logographic Chinese characters used in the Japanese writing system and, as it was decided, Zoro decided to go work out in the crow's nest. He was just so pissed off to the point that he wanted to wreck the Sunny but he knew that Franky would shove his ass off the ship and use Coup de Burst to get away and leave him stranded and that was not appealing in the slightest to the swordsman.

But just the thought of that shitty cook coming on to him made him go into a rage! Who did he think he was? Zoro had never had any interest in loving others or feeling attraction towards others. As a swordsman, focusing was everything and if he couldn't do anything because he had a fucking erection and was distracted then he was a failure as a swordsman. He had no time to flirt or fuck anyone and he had no desire to. Sure, at night he'd take care of his needs in the bathroom when everyone was asleep but he never thought about anyone or anything to take care of it, he just took care of it, cleaned himself up and that was it! Why does the shitty cook think he would even be attracted to him? He had no desire to be in a relationship with a creepy, perverted, masochistic prick!

Anyway, though he wouldn't admit it out loud, Zoro was a virgin and, if the perverted cook knew, he'd throw it at him for shits and giggles and then Nami would make bets with the crew about when Zoro would lose his virginity and he was not having that. That fucking witch would not hesitate to throw him off the cliff of pride and leave him to drown in the sea of his sorrows below. He would fight to keep his pride, even if he was a ruddy virgin, and that meant that he could not, by any means, let that fucking shitty cook know about it.

What did he expect when he told Zoro he was a masochist? Zoro had no interest in that kind of shit! I mean, it did turn some people on to be bossy, but Zoro had no desire to try it. I mean, yeah, the cook was really flexible and that was kinda… What was a word between attractive and weird as fuck?

Whatever that word was, it was that. But Zoro preferred focusing on his dream; becoming the World's Greatest Swordsman. That was his dream, not fucking some guy on the ship he sailed on. What if they got into a relationship and then shit happened and they just couldn't work or go back to being nakama ever again? Luffy would tell him that they're nakama first and foremost and he knew that but if shit went down he probably wouldn't be able to face the cook properly. He'd never been in a relationship; what was he to do? Apologise and be all sappy and say 'oh, please come back! I don't know how to live without you!'? No, fuck that shit.

However, the more Zoro thought about the everything, the more the thought of Sanji appeared in his head. He could think about anything and somehow it would connect to the shitty cook he hated; despised, even. But did he really hate him that much? Did he really want to slice the cook into oblivion or did he want to fuck him into oblivion? He couldn't tell anymore.

And again, the more he thought about that question, the more he thought about how it linked in with how he wanted to be the dominant one of the two on the ship. Luffy would always be the strongest of the three but Zoro was second in command and he wanted, needed even, to be winning over the cook. There was no doubt that Zoro was slowly realising that he fit in with the cook's ideals.

And that made him even more angry than he was before. He was fuming, like a volcano about to erupt, and it didn't help that a surprise visit from the Captain happened to be scheduled at that time.

* * *

Luffy was bored and the rest of the crew were worried. Zoro had gone up to the crow's nest and hid but slowly, over the past hour or so, a dark aura had started radiating from the crow's nest and it was making everyone else feel depressed or agitated. Their dipshit captain, on the other hand, was all ready to launch himself up and press his face against the window of the crow's nest.

…

Which is exactly what he did.

* * *

 _*BANG*_

"Shit..! Fuckin'- the shit!?" Zoro turned his head to the window to see a rubbery face pressed against the glass after almost dropping his weight on his foot. He was not impressed that his captain had decided to be an asshole at this point in time.

"LUFFY!" he yelled as Luffy just laughed and let himself into the crow's nest. The crow's nest was Zoro's territory but the captain was able to overthrow that rule and let himself in no matter what. He was the captain, after all.

"Ne, Zoro. Do you like Sanji?" Zoro froze. He was not sure how to respond to that.

"O-of course I like Sanji. He's nakama." the look on Luffy's face didn't change. He thought he had it, thought that Luffy bought the lie. Nope. Not a chance. Not a chance in hell.

"No, Zoro. Not like that. Do you like _like_ Sanji?" Again, Zoro froze. Why would the captain ask him that? Of course he'd reply no. Of course he'd tell him he was imagining things.

"OF COURSE I FUCKING DON'T LIKE THAT SHITTY BASTARD!" Zoro retaliated, his dark aura growing by the second. Luffy noticed this and suddenly got very serious.

"Zoro, I'm not saying you do, but _if_ you do then just remember…" Zoro knew what he was going to say. He'd predicted it earlier. He was so pissed off; he didn't want to talk about that bastard. That shitty, annoying, slender, hot, se- ENOUGH. He was getting off track.

"... We are nakama first. Do not let anything like that get in your way when it comes to protecting this crew and everyone in it." and with that Luffy left the crow's nest, a smile on his face as approached his nakama.

CALLED IT! Zoro called it. He knew Luffy would say that. With a sigh, he picked up his weights and went back to his thoughts about the shitty cook which made him even more angry.

* * *

A/N: OK, I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG TO UPDATE AGH I'M SO BUSY RN WITH ALL THIS SLEEPING I'M DOING

Oops sarcasm.

Also, thanks to something40423 and lost green tiger for the name suggestions. I had to use 'Prince Asshole', even if it wasn't a serious suggestion.


	4. Scars Are Cool

_**A/N - So if you don't like smut and stuff I advise not reading this chapter cause I do and this chapter is all about it. ;)**_

 _ **ALSO, I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING THIS SINCE THE BEGINNING OF BLOODY AUGUST. Damn, has this been a long time coming (sexual pun intended due to this chapter) but I had massive writing block. Me and FallenDead667 were laughing at how I have 'massive writer's block on a blowjob scene'. I don't honestly know why that was pretty funny but feel free to IM me (Instantly Murder) when you want to. I have no objections considering it's taken me over a whole damn**_ **month** _ **to update this.**_

* * *

The crew had arrived at a forest island and of course Luffy had to go charging ahead of all the others, Usopp and Chopper hot on his tail as they sped after him. Nami had decided that Kanji would stay on the ship and Zoro would guard him (which was a seriously poor choice on Nami's part if Zoro had any say in the matter).

...

(Which he didn't, by the way; he never did. This was the Sea Witch, after all).

Nami, with her sarcastic, bitchy, high-pitched voice had told Kanji to 'be a good boy for Zoro' and that he was to 'wait patiently like a dog for his master'. If Zoro was entirely honest he was fucking _sick_ of the dog jokes. They'd been going on non-stop after all the 'woof' bullshit from Kanji the other day (seriously, the crew needed a better sense of humor than repetition of the same damn joke for days on end).

After the rest of the crew left to find some supplies - and hopefully some tobacco for the damn cook - Zoro was left alone with the asshole. Luckily he was busy doing some shit with this invention Usopp had created. Zoro figured he had time to take a nap without losing sight of the bastard.

Kanji however, saw this as his opportunity and started gathering things like rope and grinned. No better time than the present to execute some plan on the swordsman, right? With the rope in hand he approached the marimo.

Said marimo however, had noticed the presence of the other male. Deciding it was safe not to open his eyes and just ask what was wrong he spoke up.

"What is it, ass hat?" he grumbled as Kanji got closer and closer to the lump of moss on the deck.

"Oh, nothin'." He replied, a grin evident in his voice. This made Zoro curious and so he decided to open his one working eye only to find he couldn't fucking see and his arms were bound behind his back, attached to the Sunny Go's railing. Trying to set himself free, Zoro pulled at the ropes but no progress was made so he just gave up with a huff.

"The fuck do you think you're doing, bastard?" He grumbled up at Kanji as he could once again see. He was not amused with the situation one bit and was determined to get out of it as best he could but damn, was this bastard good at tying ropes. Should he be concerned about his ability to tie shit? Probably not.

Zoro was suddenly brought back to reality when he felt weight on his lap. Focusing back on the view in front of him instead of his imagination he noticed it was Kanji sitting on top of him. This was going in the completely wrong direction. He did not want him on his lap nor did he want him touching him or even remotely near him but no! Nami had to leave him here to supervise Prince Asshole.

"Hey, 'ya might want'a focus on me now…" came a voice that was suspiciously near Zoro's crotch. As Kanji spoke Zoro could feel his breath on his skin through his clothes (probably because Zoro never really wears underwear). A shiver rippled through Zoro's spine as he tried wiggle free of his bindings and Kanji sat on top of him but once again got nowhere. He took a glance at Kanji who just shot one back with an evident smirk whilst he slowly removed Zoro's haramaki and opened his coat, reaching for the buttons on Zoro's trousers.

"O-oi! What the hell do you think you're doing, bastard!" He growled, unsure of what to do to get out of this situation once again. Struggling was not working and Kanji sure as hell wasn't going to let him go, he was sure of that much.

"Giving you head, what else does it look like?" He smirked as he stuck his hand inside Zoro's trousers and grabbing his dick. Zoro, who was not expecting that to happen at all, groaned as Kanji rubbed him slightly. With a grunt, Zoro suppressed another groan when Kanji pulled his trousers off of him and the cold air hit his dick.

"Stop…" Zoro forced out, leaning against the railing but Kanji didn't listen and instead leant forward and licked him causing Zoro to have to hold back a grunt. With a smirk, Kanji licked the head, sticking his mouth over it and getting excited over the fact that Zoro was squirming under him.

Kanji licked and sucked at Zoro's dick, determined to get a serious reaction out of Zoro so when Zoro flinched and kicked Kanji square in the crotch, Kanji moaned - _hard_. It caught Zoro off-guard and the vibrations around his dick caused him to squirm around, noises threatening to force their way out of his throat. At this rate, Zoro was not going to be able to hold anything back and he'd be pushed to his limit from a fucking _blowjob_. That thought hurt his pride and was determined not to let it happen.

But when Prince Asshole decided to continue jerking him off with his hand and lick Zoro's scar, the moss head could not hold back and came right then and there with a loud moan that he prayed no one heard besides the two presently on the ship.

"Oh, so 'ya scar's 'ya weak spot, is it?" Kanji whispered into Zoro's ear, breathing onto it gently. Zoro shivered, ashamed that he'd actually _enjoyed_ having his scar licked. He decided to ignore Kanji's comment and growled at him, the glare in his eyes hardening as he got his strength back little by little.

"You got what you wanted so untie me and leave me the fuck alone." Kanji wrapped his arms around himself and moaned at Zoro's fierce tone which pissed the swordsman off once more. He had had enough of this bullshit and just wanted to go take a shower, "I'll untie you, of course I will, darlin'!"

Once Zoro was free he shoved Kanji to the other side of the ship and went to go take a shower as quick as he could - a cold shower. He wanted all memories of what had just happened to dissipate and never return. Even the swordsman had never known that his scar would stimulate that kind of reaction from him but what bothered him the most was the fact that, if that was Sanji in that body, he'd have probably enjoyed it; he'd have let the cook see him unfold and let him do whatever he wished with Zoro's body.

Shaking that thought out of his mind also, Zoro turned on the shower, took off his clothes, dumping them wherever, and stood under the water. He shivered at the cold once it first touched his skin, but soon adjusted and thought about nothing as he washed his hair and cleaned the still wet come off of his skin. A shiver ran down his spine but he ignored it, acting as if that never happened.

* * *

Once Zoro had finished his shower, he realised he'd brought no clean clothes with him so he just shoved his coat over himself, grabbing his other clothes and his haramaki, and sprinted down to the men's bunk when he noticed Kanji was in the kitchen - looked like both personalities felt comfort by being in the kitchen.

Zoro grabbed some fresh new clothes and put everything on and decided to go take a nap in his bed. He did not want to risk being tied to the Sunny like that again, and he'd wake up instantly if he knew something was happening on deck, there was no doubt about that. With a sigh of relief at how fresh he felt, he closed his eyes and fell into a light, dreamless sleep.


End file.
